Punks, Poop, and Half Naked People


December 10, 2012 by j1scotty

Let’s talk about punks. It’s rare I call someone a punk. But, when you work and don’t get paid for it…that’s called a straight punk. Especially around Christmas. Yes, I said Christmas, that’s what it’s called people..get over it. Punks aren’t cool. Even when they wear their pants hanging off their butt cheeks.

I would like this particular punk to have straight diarrhea for at least a week.

Oh well, such is life..good thing is, is that for every punk there is an awesome person who helps you out for no reason. I’ve had more awesome than punks. #winning. Is that still cool to say?

Moving onto poop. So, this past weekend I went to my first crossfit competition. I went as a spectator and to cheer on my friends from Altamonte crossfit. Here’s where the poop comes in. I was not competing. I wasn’t trying to do muscle ups or kips from a bar hanging from chains. Nope. I wasn’t trying to lift an atlas stone to my shoulder and then do burpees in between. I did not see how many tire flips I could do in 2 minutes….but what happened to me? I was so nervous for my compadres, that I wanted to poop. For them. Nervous friend poops. Then I thought to myself..How the bloody hell will I ever compete?! I then remembered someone invented depends. Problem solved.

Side note..I thought I was somewhat cool till I went to this event. Turns out I’m not even close. I want to be cool.

Ok, so , competition. 7 people from my box competed. Lauren was one. Don’t worry! Pics are below…did you see the title? Half naked people are last.

Breaking it down. The competition is broken into Rx and scaled. Rx is the prescribed obnoxious weight. Rx is usually slated for the Elite athletes. Where the bada$$es are. Or people who think they are, but aren’t and get hurt. Then there’s the scaled..basically less weight and designed to fit your needs as an athlete. Still way tough, and when competing still bad ass. I just won’t use the $$ sign for that.

We had one bad a$$ from Altamonte Rx. His name is Tony…pics of him below. You’re welcome. The rest of the bad asses were in scaled and 2 competed in team. Now , I must give a shout out to Tyler Ruehlman. He made it up on the podium. He placed 2nd ! He now gets to use the $$ sign in bad ass. There is also a picture of him below. Again, no need to thank me.

Lauren did amazing. She placed 17th out of 35. Now, she’ll complain and say she sucked, which is ridiculous. This girl..I want to be on her level. I had to remind her that when I’ve used a band to do kips, it has more than once slung shot straight into my china. Humility comes in all forms. This made her feel better.

Let’s talk food. What did Lauren eat to fuel? It’s such an important part of working out, but even more so when competing. You run out of fuel, you may as well walk. Of course every person is different. Some can stomach eating an hour before intense training, others have to give themselves 2. It’s really about playing around with it and finding that sweet spot.

During the competition, Lauren had to complete 3 wod’s spanned throughout the day. So refueling was just as important. Oh! And hydration..duh.

For breakfast she ate a Kind bar and a banana. Plus a bottle of water. After her first WOD she had a turkey wrap. After her second WOD she consumed another banana, an apple, some carrots. Then she downed 2 more Kind bars. After everything was said and done, she had Moe’s. A big ol’ burrito. Much deserved. Good job Lauren! And everyone else at Altamonte cross fit who competed! You complete me.

Now it’s time for the biggest, baddest, bada$$ of the week. I just made that category up. Let me introduce you to Jorge Benito. I noticed him competing. He stood out because he looked a lot more “mature” than most, however his body looked damn near the same as everyone else’s. He also wasn’t just competing, he was giving dudes way younger a run for their money.

I had to talk to him, and I’m glad I did because when he opened his mouth and spoke with  a hot accent, I was even more giddy.

He’s 57. Yep. I said 57. Think you’re cool now? Look at him. He’s 57. Jorge has been doing crossfit for a year and 3 months. 5 months into cross fit he competed in the competitors open and placed 27th out of 3,000. 27TH OUT OF 3,000!!! I think I’m brilliant when when I place 2nd out of 10 in my box.

Jorge eats 90% paleo. Before the competition he ate a steak and some kale. His other passion in life? His work. He’s a psychiatrist. Maybe he can asses why most of us cross fitters are so mental.

Anyways, he’s an inspiration. Not just because he could kick a 20 year olds ass, but because he is clearly outside the norm of what a 57 year old is. He has determination, he doesn’t care he’s older competing with younger. He just does it. I saw persistence on his face.

We all need that in life. That push that only comes from ourselves. Not just in regards to working out, in every area. Sometimes we need to get outside what we think normal should be for us. That’s largely based on what society tells us what should be our normal anyway.

Drive to do this comes from all different places, but if you have it, the places it will take you will be far from the norm. Cheers to you Jorge. You rocked my sox.


Jorge Benito


Rx bada$$ from Altamonte cross fit , Tony.


Lauren. She’s hot, I know!


Tyler! Took 2nd!! Cuz that’s what’s up at our box.


Don’t know him. But look at him. Why would I not take a pic?


That’s Sam! She’s a hot trainer at our box. Boys don’t get any ideas..she’s with the dude who placed 2nd.


Oh, look it’s me. I know, I’m not doing anything cool, but it’s my blog. So I do what I whant!

This episode of ButtsnGits has been brought to you by the letter B. B for all the bad a$$ses who competed. B for be better. B for stop bitching and do something. No, seriously, go do something.


5 thoughts on “Punks, Poop, and Half Naked People

  1. Megan says:

    I need to find the closest crossfit competition and go play spectator.

  2. great one.. hopefully i will be in the next comp!!!!

  3. otown73 says:

    I want to be like Jorge when I grow up.

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