I Hate Chili Cheese Fries…And Losing Bets


February 7, 2013 by j1scotty

So three things happened this past weekend: 1. I lost a bet. 2. I realized that I should never be in the company of the person I made the bet with until that bet is over. 3. After watching Beyonce during the Superbowl this weekend, I realized that my legs look like they belong on an elephant compared to hers. Am I jealous? Well, duh.

So about that bet. What was it you ask? Well, Jen and I shook hands in the beginning of January that had both of us following a full, strict Paleo diet until the Caution Grounds Crossfit competition in Miami the weekend of February 9. What happened if either of us lost? I knew you would ask, but I’m not telling. Don’t worry though, Jen and I will have fun with it. I do need to learn to just not lose. There’s an idea.

So how did I lose you ask? I was out with friends, Jen included, when all the sudden I see a delicious plate of chili cheese fries lying right before me, calling my name. Without thinking, I dive in for one, savoring every flavor imaginable, before Jen pops up out of nowhere with her finger pointed right at me and a look of pure confusion, joy and overwhelming excitement. She caught me. I lost. I tried spitting it out, letting all that goodness go away from me. But it was too late. Damn those chili cheese fries.

The night I lost the bet. The guy on my left...he gave me those chili cheese fries. Dang it.

The night I lost the bet. The guy on my left…he gave me those chili cheese fries. Dang it.

If there is any good news to this situation, it would be that Jen lost as well. That’s right, she had a beer. So we’re losers together. Awesome.

So on to Miami. Words cannot express the excitement I feel for Miami. A total of thirteen athletes from my Crossfit box are competing this coming weekend, with about another fifteen coming to just support. That’s right, they are making the 3 ½ hour trek out there to just support. Can you say close-knit family? They all are amazing and I love them. That is all. Jen will be there to show her support and help coach us all. This basically means Jen gets to scream at me and tell me what to do. I’m sure she’ll do fine. But soon, very soon, I’ll be the one that gets to coach her in her very first CrossFit competition. Look forward to those pictures and stories!!

So about me. To prep for this weekend I have decided that there are some things that of course I needed to do to get in the right mind set:

  • Do laundry. It was necessity. I hate doing it but our gym tank-top must be worn, which means laundry must be done. Did I mention I hate laundry?
  • Get my customized Lee shoes ready to go! I cannot compete without my lucky shoes. Not to mention they have my name. I’m established…or so I like to think.
Customized Reebok Crossfit Nano 2.0's! Never felt love so deep ...The Lee Shoe

Customized Reebok Crossfit Nano 2.0’s! Never felt love so deep …The Lee Shoe

  • Music. Rap music. Because I’m hood and it gets me ready to step on any chick that gets in my way. You intimidated yet? Good. That means the music is working.
  • Talk about the competition every day of the week leading up to it. Don’t really have to do this to prepare, but find that I do anyways. People get real annoyed. I’m not phased! I’m ready.
  • Pooping. Lots of this happens as a natural preparation to get rid of all my nerves. It is necessary but unwanted and I wish it wasn’t part of the process. Don’t say “gross” either. You all know you do it.

The workouts. What are they? I’m so glad you asked. A wonderful combination of three workouts listed below, in case you were wondering what a CrossFit competition looked like:

WOD 1: 9 minute AMRAP – 1 hand-release burpee, 2 deadlifts (132 lbs), 4 Power Cleans (65 lbs), 6 Thrusters (45 lbs)

WOD 2: 5 round for time – 4 wall climbs, 8 tire flips, 12 GHD sit-ups

WOD 3: 6 rounds for time – 8 bench press (65 lbs), 10 box jump (24 in.)

Jen wanted to do this. But instead she’ll be coaching me through it. Lucky her. Hopefully I will be able to brag to you all and let you know I made the podium after this weekend. One can dream can’t they?? Send me your good vibes. I need them, and just naturally want good vibes sent my way. It means you’re thinking of me J. And hopefully they are good thoughts. They better be…

What I'll be eating after the competition...Nutella pizza! Heaven on a plate

What I’ll be eating after the competition…Nutella pizza! Heaven on a plate

So with that, I wanted to leave you all with a few words of wisdom that I read from an 87-year-old college student that I thought were pretty inspiring:

“There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success:

  1. You have to laugh and find humor every days
  2. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
  3. There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change.
  4. Have no regrets. When you’re older, you will not have regrets about what you did, but instead what you didn’t do.”

This episode of Butts N Gutts has been brought to you by the letter L. L for Lauren, duh. L for laughs, lollipops, love and ladies. All my single ladies, all my single ladies, put your hands up! Beyonce anyone? No? …okay moving on. L for long walks on the beach. Romantic I know. L for lunges, lateral box jumps and leg presses. Go do them, they’re fun. L for living, laughing and loving. The only recipe to a happy life :). Until next time lovely readers!!!


One thought on “I Hate Chili Cheese Fries…And Losing Bets

  1. Where the hell do you get Nutella pizza at?

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