Ya Heard.

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April 11, 2013 by j1scotty

  1. Things I’m learning from Stizz. (starbucks) Earl Grey tea smells like a sachet that should be in your grandmas underwear drawer. Not pantie drawer..grandamas don’t wear panties. You want to attract a member of the opposite sex? Stay away from the earl grey. Unless you’re down with the G’s. ( granmas and gpas )
  2. You are not a G because you sing “Started from the Bottom Now We’re Here”. A cute little girl at starbucks said it’s her jam. I think she forget she works at Starbucks.
  3. When I’m feeling down and want to not think about anything , I stalk pintrest. Then I feel worse…evidently I should be sewing my boys whole wardrobe, while creatively planning a cupcake and martini party, and at the same time, my hair twisted and knotted in the perfect bow, my nails painted with the scene of the last supper, while making my own furniture to show off to the tattoo artist who is inking me with the words…”work like a captain, play like a pirate”. What? Exactly.
  4. #peoplewhoconstantlypostpicsofthemselvesinordertorecievecomplimentswhiledoingrandomthings. Gah.
  5. Image
    you’re welcome.

    So, to catch up. It was Easter. I ate Lamb and Kale. I was so proud of myself, until I ate my weight in banana pudding made with sweetened condensed milk. Ya heard? Sweetened. Condensed. Milk.  My aquaintance with the toilet hasn’t been quite that intimate in awhile. I know how many lighthouses are on the wallpaper in the bathroom that my renters put there. Yeah, they were those kind of renters. Lighthouses. Baby blue paint. That’s it I’m looking on pintrest for an idea.

    Lauren and I were honored to be a judge at our box for Combat for a Cure Competition.

    Image
    U know just hangin around….#fishingforacompliment

    First time judging for me. Little stressful…I’m not trying to mess nobody’s game up. There’s so much power in those 2 tiny words. No rep. Now Lauren and I use it for everything. When the boyfriend does something you don’t like and then tries to kiss you…solved..all you have to say is..NO REP! Oh , I’m sorry did you just touch my food without asking? NO REP. You’re wearing vibrams with regular clothes..NO REP, and a fashion citation. Endless possibilities.

     

    Starships were meant to fly. That Niki Minaj is genius.

     

    People who get nominated for awards are seriously the coolest people ever. Oh wait, I think our blog got nominated for an award…the Leibster award to be exact. I don’t know what the hell that is still, and who really cares. It’s an award. To be nominated for. So congrats, you’re smart. You’re reading an award nominated blog. When I give out autographs it’s always in pink glitter pen, so no complaints please.

     

    I like to laugh and make fun of people sometimes. Yesterday I had the day off, so instead of being responsible I went to the beach. I sent pics to Lauren all day cause she was working. Then I laughed. Alot. At her working.

    Image

    #shamlesslytryingtogetmoretraffic

    Image

    #stilltryingtogetmorefollowersbyshowingLaurensbooty

    So here’s my food advice for the day. Everyone asks what I drink at Stizz. Ready? Americano with heavy cream. That’s it..I used to be a mocha girl. And all you smart readers out there know how much sugar is in that. I weaned myself off. But I miss it. It was a lovely spot in my day. It was bad, sometimes being bad is way more fun. That’s why I’m good 80%. You can do it people! Get off the coffee crack!! Don’t you know you have 1 month till you have to parade your body around for people to judge?!

     

    WHOA! WHOA! WHOA! 

     

    That looked important didn’t it? It’s really nothing. I just wanted to act like I had something important to say.

    This episode is brought to you by the letter P. You down with O.P.P? Prude. Be polite. Pull-ups. Platinichloric. Platinocyanide. Pachycephalosarus. Yes..those are real words. This an award nominated blog! gah.

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